:) ;) & !!! = She's excited

Below is Danielle's final email from the Provo MTC. I highlighted the !'s, :)'s, and ;)'s for your convenience in recognizing the tone of excitement and anticipation throughout. The next email we receive will be from a jet-lagged, bucket-showered, go-to-the-bathroom-in-a-hole-in-the-ground, "I love my mission!" sister missionary. Bye-bye bubble. Hello world.

Kamusta pinakamahal ang pamilya ko!

I got your package yesterday. Mom your cookies were a super big hit! Confession... they are almost all gone. :) Thank you for the pictures and other things you sent me. And jen, how did you know I was craving a reese? :) By the many smilies you can tell that I am so excited!!!!!!!! This might be my most random email yet.

Travel plans- start: Monday

I leave provo at 1:30

Leave SLC at 4:50

Get to SanFran at 5:53 and don't leave until midnight. (so this is when I will probably call you, yippee!) Thank you for the cell phone number but you had so little faith in me that I wouldn't remember my home phone?!? ;) (That's a winky)

We will get to Hong Kong at 6:45am  (HK time)

and then fligh to Manila right after that! Gaahhhh!

End: Feb 22 Talk about jet lag!

Anyways to continue with the randomness, my mind has gone blank and everything I once knew about this week is gone. Hummm...

I am sending you a package with all my winter stuff today. That's exciting.

My next email will be from the Philippines.

President Stott and his wife gave us beautiful pink/orange flowers for Valentine's Day. That's true love right there. On Val. Day we had Don Clarke of the 70 come and talk to us. It was all about love and working hard. He said, "the day you truly love the people, is the day that you will truly be happy." Also, the scripture in D&C about heart mind and strength? that one? Well he said first you have to love the work, then you have to think the work and THEN do the work, and that is how you will be successful.

We said goodbye to our teachers on Thursday and it was so sad! They were so great, but surprisingly it was harder to say goodbye to our progressing investigators. (they were our teachers role playing an investigator for us). At first it was hard for me to see them as separate people but when we said goodbye to them it was really sad because they felt like real people. I can't imagine how it will be to leave real people.

So yesterday was in-field orientation. During our whole time here we have focused on the language and teaching, so yesterday was the day we learned everything else. Like how to work with the members, how to contact, how to set weekly goals with the key indicators and such. It was really good but so much information all at once. They really stressed baptism, working with the members and mormon.org (which if you haven't gone there in a while, is a super cool site.) They did this play about working with members and there was a Primary president who stuck stickers on all of the ward council's foreheads. So the Bishops sticker caught the light and it looked like a laser pen on his forehead. So the facilitator got so mad at us and told who ever it was that they were a clown, which lead us to all busting up because we all knew it was a sticker. A few minutes latter he sheepishly said sorry. So funny! They are starting this new program called the first 12 weeks. We are some of the first missionaries to try it. For the first 12 weeks you get two hours of companionship study a day, and they have these dvd's that you have to practice certain things with and they for that week you are in charge of that area of teaching. By the end of the 12 weeks they are hoping that we could train a missionary it needed.... WHOA! Three months in and I could be training someone. Let's pray for a little more time. :) That probably didn't make any sense, but oh well.

So Sister Hoopes couldn't sleep one night so she came and slept on the floor by my bed, and proceeded to tell me a story about Cody and Neeko, they were best friends and loved to hunt dragons. The floor then became uncomfortable and so the story stopped. Sister Hoopes wanted me to tell you this story. So there is the story. :)

We had to explain to Sister Snow what a Harlot was. Just imagine 6 19 year-old boys trying to explain that story. Then imagine the 21 year old female's face after they choke out and explanation.

Mahalkita lahat!

Sister Lyons.... soon to be in the Philippines!

Manila Ice

For all who have not yet heard, Sister Danielle has been reassigned to the Manila Philippines Mission. There was a chance of being reassigned to California or Alaska Tagalog speaking, but luckily she still gets to go foreign and have all the cultural experiences and sicknesses that come with such an adventure! Although disappointed about not being able to go to Baguio as initially called, her spirits are high and she is happy to still be going to the Philippines. Below are some excerpts from her most recent email. Enjoy :)

Ice, Ice Baby... She's going to Manila...

"Manila ice, ice baby! Don don don da da don don. Bam bam. Ok is it wicked that that song has been stuck in my head all week? No... Anyways, it's a know fact that I am now going to Manila. I still haven't been offically informed that but I knew I was medically cleared for it. The doctor actually thought is was foolish they were so worried about my asthma. When the last time you had a major asthma attack? 10 years ago. Were you ever hospitalized? No. Will you breath into this tube. Yes, but I have a cold, just so you know. Ok. Wow that's pretty good for having a cold! That's right! Anyways that's kinda how my appointment went."

"So the night i found out I wasn't going to Baguio, i of course bawled all day and night, but that night I was lying in bed, still crying, when i started to pray. When i finished my prayer, i realized i had stopped crying like half way through. This intense peace and calm came over me. It defiantly did not come from within me, because i was still having why thoughts and worries and complaints coming to my head, but i just kept feeling it would be okay. The next morning i read a the talk by Elder Hales from last general conference. (I would suggest you all read it and study the scriptures at the end) anyways, I prayed again and told God that I would go anywhere and I would serve with all my heart, but that He should know that a tiny part of my heart would always stay in Baguio. And then the thought came... I have NO CLOTHES FOR ALASKA! Gahhhhh! But God once again told me that it would all be ok. And it was. Cause I am going to Manila!"

Nineteen year old boys are special... 

"Elder Amataga makes thank-yous out of his left over food. He usually makes faces and then writes, thank you or salamat, or GET ME OUT OF HERE in ketchup or fries"

"Elder Bird and I had a half hour conversation about his love for Dinosaurs. In a package he got this dinosaur that's skin comes off and then it's just a skeleton. So cool. And the first day he got it he never stopped holding it. We decided he could use it in a lesson about resurrection."

The pressure of having a time limit when one is so full of things to discuss...

"Oh, there are so many more funny and great stories that I wish I could tell you all but, I only have 2 minutes left and when the time turns red, my brain stops working and then I just mumble on and on about the time turning red......" 

And because of that... that's just what she did :) More to come...

Hot dogs are so predictable...

For all of you Sister Lyons followers out there... a couple of snippets from her most recent email. Her Tagalog is coming along extremely well... and her English spelling is getting really creative, don't you think?

"So this week has been another rollercoster. So let's get started. Sunday was amazing! For Relif socitey we usually have some one from one of the womans auxillerally board members come and speak to us, but this sunday we had Sister Wixom, the gerenal primary president. It was so good! She started off saying that 1 million primary children are praying for the missionaries, so we cannot fail. Isn't that so cute and so true! He whole talk was based off the primary song, "I am a child of God." She told us this is one of the most important messages we can share with the children. She challenged us to learn it in our language and then teach it to every child we meet. Because everyone needs to know they are loved and they have a loving heavenly father."

"So after this spritual high, Branch Pres came in our room and wanted to talk to me. He asked me to be the new coordinating sister. Whaaaa? That's what i said and you probably are saying the same thing, but more like what is a coordinating sister? It's basically the female zone leader/closest thing there is to a RS pres in the branch. It means I have to go to a ton of meething, do orientation of the new sisters, interview all the sisters, and report back to President Stott. Gah! I of couse said yes, but then felt extreamly underqualified and stressed. But no worries God loves and so all is well!"

"Sister Snow is still the best. She is doing so well with the language, and we taught our first lesson without any notes! English or Tagalog! It was one of the best lessons we have ever taught. We also added another investigator the week. We will be teaching on of the other companionships. That means we have 3 progressing investigators that we have to teach 2times a week... plus TRC. If I have done my math right that is a lesson a day! Ano byon! Anyway super cazy and super exciting!"

"Sister hoopes' sister went to Bagio on her mission (and her sister's first name is danielle, how epic) anyway sister hoopes said that after about a year her sister had to have someone make her a jacket because she was cold. So I am planning to send you my coat but keep my black cardigian with me. So I will just wear that to the airport. Let's pray for good weather. I do not have a backpack, but all the teachers say all you really carries is a Book of Mormom, your planner and a TON of water. We are required to drink a certain amount each day. Oh, and a hankerchif to wipe off the sweat."

Yay for handkerchiefs. Nay for hot dogs. How much do you think she'll be willing to pay for a hot dog once she realizes she's stuck with fish every day? 3, 4, maybe 12 completos? :) 

The Sister Missionary Diaries

In an attempt to protect the author of these writings, I have left out the "Hey mom, can you send me some more underwear?" style comments and have copied over what you've all been waiting for... excerpts from the Sister Missionary Diaries. Abridged, but unedited. Pure Danielle. Enjoy.

Welcome to the MTC... Her very first email...

"My companions name is Sister Snow. She is from Alberta Canada. She has so much energy and is so happy all the time, it''s great! We live in a doram room with 4 other sisters. So it''s like freshmen year, just with all of us in the same room. The first day was a whirlwind! I haven''t time to be homesick ever since. So no worries. They started in full Tagalog right away. No English. Crazy! It takes basically all day so I barely have time to think in english. But I think that is a good thing because I can pray, bear my testimony, and tell people where to find things in the scriptures. Tagalog is like a mix between spanish, samoan, and japanese. Funny story. Here we great people in our lauguage, so we say Kamusta! which sounds an aweful lot like como esta. The spanish elders look at us like were stupid and then when we answer back Mabuti! they just look confused. It is one of sister snow''s and I''s favorite things to do. Their faces are priceless."

I'm sorry for saying I'm sorry... I promise I'll never say it again...

"So to start off I want to share with you my new most embarrassing moment ever. It was just a great day all together I tripped on nothing and totally biffed it right in front of a whole group of Elders. Pretty sure I flased them on the way up and the way down. I also fell asleep during personal study which casued be to startle awake and drop my pen much to the amusment of my Elders. And then here comes the cake. So we were teaching Rodrigo (Our pretend Investigator) for the 3rd time. All in Tagalog. Anyway, he was telling us this whole sob story about his family... yada yada yada... when I decied to give him a heart felt we're sorry. Sorry in Tagalog is 'Pacensiya' (Pronounced pa-sent-cha) and out came.... wait for it... placenta. That's right I said as clear as day placenta. Good thing he was pretending or eternal savaltion down the drain! Anyway I turned bright red and my companion started businting a gut, so we just walked out. When we got back to class, all the Elders wanted to know why we were laughing so hard. Um... yeah. So finaly they dragged it out of us. Two busted up laughing. Two laughed because they felt awkward and then the other two laughed because everyone else was. Can you imagine the converstation they had that night? "Hey, so um... Elder... What's a... you know... a placenta?"  Classic!"

She's such a missionary!

"On to more spritual stuff. So a few days ago we sang God be with you till We Meet Again in tagalog. I almost started to cry. I had this feeling that someday I would sing this song for reals. As in the right words, but more importatnly with people that I love and will leave and probably not see them until the next life. I already miss people that I haven't even met yet. Also, Sister Snow and I taught the First Vision yesterday (without any books) for the first time. It was sweet to see how even simple phrases of broken tagalog can bring such a spirit into the room. But there really is power in saying, "I know that Joseph Smith saw God the Father and His Son Jesus Christ, and he resotred Christ gospel on the earth." Also reading the accont of the fist vision, even though I hardly understand anything, brings a feeling of excitment and the spirt. I am finding out the meaning of pure testimony even more and more here. That is because that's all I can say, but that is all that is needed. The language is hard, but they keep stressing the language of the sprit is the most important language to speak. Although sometimes I wish they had called me english speaking. But sister snow and sis hoopes both put no language. So The Lord send you where you are suppose to go. The language is really hard for sister snow (although she is doing better then she thinks) but I keep getting the feeling it will be ok. God will be with me and helping me."

And just a little extra snippet for fun...
"Mom, just so you know, I love your cooking. These past couple of days I have not felt like eating. (Don't worry I do, cause I'm starving all the time) I just miss your food and all the different flavor so much! While I like 19 year old boys, I do not like the food they eat. So thank you!"

Note: I hope Sister Lyons will forgive me for including her embarrassing moment in a blog for the world to see. For any potential blushing this post may someday cause, I am truly placenta. 

Unicorns and pansies

... And those were Danielle's famous last words before entering the MTC. She now currently resides in a bubble within a bubble within a bubble. And boy, is that bubble bound to be popped the second she feels the need to use a public squat toilet upon her arrival in the Phillipines.

I am sure that all of you brilliant Danielle Lyons blog-followers have been able to deduce that Danielle is no longer managing her own blog. You may have come to this conclusion by compiling several pieces of evidence that suggest it to be so. For example...

1) Danielle never speaks in 3rd person. She is not that arrogant.
2) Danielle knows how to post on a blog. I do not. So the fact that I may be writing this now and it has the chance of not even showing up on the internet anywhere where it is supposed to may also lead you to discern that Danielle is currently unavailable to help me with this technological trial.
3) Danielle is not allowed to use the internet. Or the radio. Or the phone. Or pants. Or steak. Because she is in the MTC.
4) Whoever is currently writing Danielle's blog in her absence has impeccable grammar and flawless spelling. That should have given it away immediately.

Although I will be managing this account and sharing secret snippets from Danielle's emails and letters for all her followers to see over the duration of these next 18 months, I have chosen to remain anonymous. My anonymity provides the opportunity for the reader to focus on the main character of this story. It also allows me to share most embarrassing things about the main character of this story without her ever finding out who it is that might have hacked into her most precious blog.

So... stay tuned. The toilet squatting, fish eating, endless sweating adventure has just begun. Calling all unicorns and pansies. Your assistance will be required.

That poet is dead...

“A man of my acquaintance once wrote a poem called "The Road Less Traveled", describing a journey he took through the woods along a path most travelers never used. The poet found that the road less traveled was peaceful but quite lonely, and he was probably a bit nervous as he went along, because if anything happened on the road less traveled, the other travelers would be on the road more frequently traveled and so couldn't hear him as he cried for help. Sure enough, that poet is dead.” 

-Lemony Snicket

I'm Leaving and Never Coming Back Again

(ok, only for 18 months but still)

I Will Miss

Sleeping In

Good Long Chats with my Sisters

FB Vents with Friends

Cafe Rio

Panda Express

Normal Food in General 

Mi Familia 

Wearing Pants

School

The English Language

My Friends

Sanitary Non-Squat  Toilets, People that Wash their Hands

But When It's the End of My Mission...

I Will Miss 

Having a Set Schedule

Good Long Chats with My Companions

Writing Letters

Fish

Rice

Strange Food in General  

Aking Mga Filipino Sa Pamilya

Pretty Dresses

Studying the Gospel in Such Depth 

My New Friends

All the Funny Moments 

I chose the road lest traveled in hopes some day all will follow. 

The Case of the Undefeated Lawyer

Before Law and Order and even before Matlock... there was another super-human lawyer, one of course that never lost and always caught the real murderer. Perry Mason. I don't know what it is about boys and Perry Mason (and Pawn Stars... but that will have to wait for another day), but my padre watches Perry Mason every night after the news and since living at home I have too... half-heartedly. It is really hard to tell characters apart when everything is in black and white. Through an (kind of)  intense study of this show I have discovered the real meaning of the law. I will now share this knowledge with you.

What I have learned from Perry Mason...

1. All the legal terminology. 

I object! (Me too!)

Counsel is leading the witness! (Blind leading the blind)

This evidence is irrelevant, inconsequential, and impartial. (Ok, I totally made up that last word, but it was another 'I" word) 

Did you or did you NOT murder this person? (Get straight to the point)

2. With a name like Hamilton Burger... you were born for failure.

3. Beware the seductive women. Whether she comes in the form of a wife, girlfriend, secretary (sexist stereotype), or lover, it doesn't matter... they usually did it. But don't worry, that chauvinistic pig of a man, who would never love them and who is now dead, had it coming! 

4. If it wasn't the seductive woman, it was the seedy looking man, who secretly either lent or embezzled  money to or from the deceased. Or was secretly in love with the seductive woman. Love triangles and money, the root of all evil.

5. It's ok to bend the rules if your client is innocent. (Hey, Mason is a lawyer, not a saint. What'd you expect?)

6. If you say, "Over my dead body!" or anything to that effect, be prepared for your character to be found dead in the next scene. You asked for it.

7. If you happen to run into the scene of the murder, don't run away or try to hide evidence... Call the police!

8. Oh, and don't touch anything, stupid!

9, Not following 7 or 8 can lead to your arrest for a crime you did not commit. 

10. So, if you DID happen stumble across a crime scene, put your fingerprints ALL over  the murder weapon, and then promptly ran away without reporting a dead body, just make sure Perry Mason is your lawyer... he only takes the innocent ones. 'Cause he never looses. You wouldn't want to ruin his perfect record.